14/05/25: my friends have been talking about their goals or dreams alot recently. it made me realize i don't have alot of my own, so.. i'll change that.
1. i'd like to get better at coding! my friends say i'm good now but not good enough!
2. get better at art! i need to finesse my color theory and digital painting!
3. go outside more!! i have friends that love me, and if i want to see them i need to get used to being outside!
4. i'd like to get back to a point where i can go back to school or an actual job again!! that would be nice!!
maybe these are kind of silly but i don't want to be a digital girl forever! i can do this i can do this i can do this I CAN DO THISSSS
15/05/25: i guess my mood is very dependent on how people interact with me, but that's just being a human probably. my friends keep talking about school and being stressed out by it. ive been able to ignore it for a while i mean its not my fault i couldnt attend classes but now its starting to idk. weigh on me. it makes me feel useless. why do they get to go outside and be okay with everything while i'm stuck inside in the same place constantly? it's not really fair. it's not their fault, it's mine, but it's not really fair. i don't get why i'm like this or why i'm so jealous over them. i just wish i could do what they do
they all say i'm overworking myself and max has offhandedly mentioned it a few times but i don't know. can i overwork myself when it's something like this? who cares if i'm in pain from all this work? it'll make a great portfolio. i need to get better no matter what even if my wrists fall off i'll never stop coding because it's the one thing in a long time i've been good at that not many other people are. my dad hasn't been this impressed in a while and neither have they nobody even tells me my art is fucking good anymore. i think im gonna play minecraft. bye
18/05/25: i'm going out with a friend tomorrow! i haven't been out with someone in a while.. it's just to catch up, but on tuesday we're seeing a movie together too! i'm not really nervous weirdly. i used to get so so nervous when i was in highschool and i would always cancel but i just dont really care this time. maybe its just because its the night before. oh and i debuted v2 im so happy about how it turned out. i need to add more stuff though, like a real time clock, taskbar and maybe some more icons for stuff. i just wanna make the site packed to the brim!!
20/05/25: to nobodys surprised i cancelled however we r going to a movie tomorrow and i cannot cancel sooo hehhehe even if its way more scary i wanna see it and its one of the last views n shit n i have tasks to complete in town square so.. i wanna move to japan. the low prices, the neet lifestyle, the powerlines late at night its alll for me. i wanna live in a little city off the skirts of osaka surrounded by 24/7 stores so i can go to persona events easy but i'm still secluded enough.. aaah just a pipedream for me but one day maybe. i would love to!! uuu i should sleep also hi-fi rush is a rlly good game. been watching alot of rtgames stuff oh and i ordered some new clothes which came today i love it when things get delivered!!!! it was 3 persona shirts, one is a junes shirt the others a yasogami high gym uniform shirt and the last is a shujin academy gym uniform shirt (i wanna get the track bottoms and jacket next) i heart you insertcoin!!!!! (and a dressing gown AND a free persona 3 gekkoukan lapel pin omfgg) ok bye for real
21/05/25: l-l-l-lava chicken (yes i went to the movies i had an amazing time!!!!!!!!!!!) we saw geese i played stepmaniaX (DIDNT KNOW MY LOCAL ARCADE EVEN HAD A MACHINE I FREAKED TF OUT) went to a nice restaruant i figured after the movie was done we would just fuck off but nope!!!! it was so so fun i'm super glad i went :3 i need to go outside more even if it hurts my body sooo much bc i found a FULL EFFING box of my pain MEDS LETS GO LETS GO aaaaaahehehehehehe sooooooo i'm feeling lucky and aweosme today ALSO i won a miku!!!!! miku miku ooooweeeuuuuuuu! i am eating leftovers from that resturant rn (sorry i cant spell it) and watching stuff on laptop w/ miku then ill get an early night bc my body really really does hurt. i cant stay up all night coding at all :( sorry if u wanted an update but NO!!! zzzzs first.. gn!!! :D (tldr; good asf day)
23/05/25: sorry for the lack of updates. health stuff, you know how it is. probably will be this way until i recover + i'm not doing the best mentally rn so site takes a backburner while i try figure myself out :p cool song here
1/6/25: something weird kinda happened yesterday. i got contacted by an old friend of mine. i mean, in retrospect it wasnt that weird. we'd always kept in such even after we stopped being friends friends and we checked up like once every 6 months. it's been.. maybe a year or two since we last spoke? with everything going on, i couldn't really face anybody from my past. i felt like i had been stalking them constantly, so maybe some time away would do some good, right? and he contacted me first this time, about my status on discord actually because i stayed up too late debugging my latest project. idk, it was a nice chat! we caught up, he recommended me a game and i recommended him a song or two. normal! we talked about why i hadnt been in touch and maybe even talking some more in the future. i think itd be nice. but, idk its weird for people to say 'youre so like future looking! you never look back!' thats a recent development like this year. last year?? i was all 'I need to fix all my problems and all the things i did wrong A S A P' and im so glad to NOT be like that now. but thats after years of shit like that AND going through a whole fucking bad relationship and anime arc lol
okay so youre probably like thennn why are you talking about this? everything went good? yeah. It did and idk. its nice. i always had this.. idea that he was doing better than me. he was the end goal with lots of friends who love him and a girlfriend and such but. idk. now? im happy. i love my friends i love what i make . its not easy for me to get to a point where im at that and even though the desktop alone has so many bugs and little things id love to change i. am happy!!! and content!!! and i love my friends. i dont even really think i would reaallly really want a gf/bf. which is insane im the attention whore ever but it would just. take away from my projects and my personal time lol and im not ready for that. theres no rush, ill find the person in time but rn? i dont think theres a single thing wrong with just being my silly lil self :3 ..i should probably go back to debugging now huh! i said i would an hour ago omg but ive just been yapping to ppl and now on my journal. byeeeeeeeeeeeee
ok so i have alot of sites like alot of sites and webrings so here they all are
online = im using it, offline = not currently in use/currently down, pending = not finished and subject to change at any moment
internetidol - for oc content!!!! [online]
queenofvenus - my old main neocities before i moved here! [offline]
watertheroses - personal blog abt people i miss [online]
weathergirl - idk i havent decided yet [pending]
butchervanity - another idk [pending]
new pokering - a remake of the old pokering that closed circa 2022, complete with new assets and some new code [offline]
needyring - a webring for fans of needy streamer overload! [online]
persona 3 ring - webring for fans of the persona 3 franchise, spinoffs or main games! [online]
persona 4 ring - ring for fans of the franchise of persona 4 and to show their favourite characters on their sites! [online]
persona 5 ring - a webring for fans of persona 5 to express their love for the franchise, and show off their favourite character! [pending]
I am angelic ♥ 
LINKED ! 
Aigis
I will remember him forever
rock me 
Flavor Foley
I have the soul of a lionhead rabbit!
celestial divine // scorpio
i love anime // mecha
NPC 
Shiho Suzui
Athena is the patron of uraincandy.
Barbieland // This Barbie is about to lose her shit!
rudy is the princess of robots!
link to my button?
please note, this is very experimental! if you prefer v1, it will still be hosted here.
this was made with help from multiple people, far too many to credit; but thank you amy and apollo in specific! i wouldn't have gotten here without either of you!
this was coded on a chrominium based browser, at 1280 x 720 at 67%. while it will function at other specifications, this is intended and best.
so without further fanfare, welcome to WINDOSE V2!
- your ame-chan for the evening, rudy
